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People can't compartmentalize their emotions when they grieve (and in most cases, they shouldn't have to!). Feelings often bleed into one another. Laughter and grief usually coexist, and sometimes, you need to turn to funny funeral quotes. Check out our favorites, and consider using one for a eulogy.
Jump ahead to these sections:
- Funny Quotes for a Eulogy
- Funny Quotes for Funeral Directors to Share
- Funny Funeral One-Liners to Share
- Humor Can Bring Much-Needed Levity
Funny Quotes for a Eulogy
A close friend or family member often delivers a eulogy or funeral speech with biographical details and personal memories. Above all, eulogies should offer a tribute to the deceased and their character. That said, a funny eulogy might provide the perfect sendoff if your loved one had a wicked sense of humor.
Quotes like these can break the ice when emotions are running high.
1. "Death is too negative for me. So I’ll be popping off for a long cup of tea, Do splash out on two bags in the pot. And for my god’s sake, keep the water hot." — Michael Ashby
If you’re unsure how to begin a eulogy, why not start with the opening of a funny funeral poem?
This quintessentially British verse points out that death often makes people uncomfortable. Calling attention to that fact can break the tension.
2. "According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death." — Jerry Seinfeld
This line is just the first part of one of the comedian’s classic riffs, but it can also set up some other great punchlines.
If you’re nervous about speaking, you could say that line and then make your own joke. For instance, you could continue, “I know that’s true for me. I even asked [Name] if he wanted to switch places with me, but he didn’t answer.”
While self-deprecating humor is perfect at a funeral, a joke at the deceased's expense is risky.
3. "They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days." — Garrison Keillor
Many people veer away from traditional funerals in favor of more uplifting gatherings. Celebration-of-life services focus more on happy memories and stories.
Funny Quotes for Funeral Directors to Share
Many families turn to funeral homes as they navigate the burial process. Funeral directors handle critical logistics like planning the memorial service while balancing the needs of every guest.
Funeral directors can easily transition from efficient professionalism to compassion. Many even use gentle humor to give mourners a reprieve. Here are some funny quotes they might use.
4. "Everybody can’t talk at the funeral!" — Shuler King
Shuler King’s family has owned a funeral home since 1945. Naturally, he became a licensed funeral director and embalmer to help their business thrive. He’s also a successful comedian who jokes about his day job.
In one video, he gave a good-natured rant about what happens when too many people speak at the funeral. Many funeral directors wish they could say this.
5. "Good funeral directors can maintain their calm through almost anything, but when some bro walks into a funeral with earbuds blaring, I immediately start my breathing meditation." — Caleb Wilde
Wilde is a sixth-generation funeral director and the author of "Confessions of a Funeral Director: How the Business of Death Saved My Life." He also has a big social media following due to his irreverent and polarizing observations.
This humorous tweet is one of his typical off-kilter slice-of-life moments. Funeral directors frequently get asked how they maintain their composure, and this lighthearted quote seems neutral enough.
6. "There wasn’t an anhydrous lacrimal gland in the house." — Unknown (via Mary Roach)
An award-winning author, Roach has created a niche for herself in the publishing world. She has a profound interest in science and enjoys immersing herself in new subjects. She also has a quick sense of humor.
In her first book, "Stiff: The Curious Life of Human Cadavers," Roach chronicled the use of cadavers throughout medical history. In the course of her research, she found a written description of a memorial service for several medical school cadavers.
She saw the humor in this quote, a play on the idiom, “There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.”
7. "Some people develop frown lines. Others have smile lines. Funeral directors develop clearly defined WTF lines." — Caleb Wilde
Wilde makes a second appearance here with this humorous and humanizing observation. Funeral directors see a lot of weird stuff, but they do their best to stay impartial.
Funny Funeral One-Liners to Share
Grief is an isolating emotion, but funerals give people the opportunity to connect and support each other. Many of us feel awkward trying to make small talk when a loved one dies. Sometimes, a humorous quip can help everyone relax.
8. "Amazing tradition. They throw a great party for you on the one day they know you can’t come." — Jeff Goldblum
Known for his quirky and eccentric persona as much as his acting chops, Goldblum offers an entirely on-brand quote. It’s wry and knowing but still in good taste.
9. "You know what they always say: you can’t spell ‘funeral’ without ‘fun.’" — Unknown
This quote has been around so long that it’s unclear where it originated. It may be one of those phrases that emerged from the collective unconscious.
You might see this quote on a shirt or hear it in an indie song. For a simple joke, it has a surprising level of versatility. You could deliver this line to make it your own.
10. "I hate going to funerals because I’m not a mourning person." — Jonathan Katz
When you see this witty quip written out, it’s apparent that it’s a play on words. When spoken aloud, the distinction isn’t as obvious.
If you say it during an afternoon or evening burial service, it may throw people even further off the trail. Discerning listeners who catch onto this subtle one-liner will appreciate its quiet cleverness.
Humor Can Bring Much-Needed Levity
You can laugh until you cry, and in this case, why not cry until you laugh? Laughing through tears at a funeral may not be your first instinct, but humor can make you feel better while grieving.
As funny as these quotes are, make sure you consider your audience and how they’ll react.
